At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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