Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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