The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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