You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
