I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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