Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
