The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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