DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
