No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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