Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
