make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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