Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
