Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
