Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
