I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
