no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
