You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So squirting runs in the family.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
