There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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