I'm really into asian looking animals
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just gift wrapped bread.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
