reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
