I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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