She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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