I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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