hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
