when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize