I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
