Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
