When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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