i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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