I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
