They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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