what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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