Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
