Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
