just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
