just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
