New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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