my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
