im holly from the hills drunk
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
