They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
