I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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