I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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