yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
