Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize