What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
