Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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