If that was your dad, he is hot
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
