Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
