I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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