one word: firstdatebathroomanal
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize