If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
