Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
