I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
