Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
