I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
