Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just gift wrapped bread.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
