Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
