I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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