Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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