But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
