Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
