I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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