she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
