Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize