i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
did you just send me my own nude
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
