is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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