if you like me you must not know who I am
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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