I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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