we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
