I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
