And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
